365 days ago...

365 days ago I was lying on a table and my world turned upside down…I remember it like it was yesterday…I told Chad to have a great day at work and I would call him after the ultra sound…I kissed my rock goodbye for the day…I went to my appointment to see the stomach bubble…nothing crazy…I thought the baby just peed the last time or that Max was who we were all paying attention to and just missed it…I laid there and my favorite doctor came in and we were laughing about Max telling her that he had bobbies, daddy had boobies and mommy has BIG boobies…then she started to go from the heart to the belly to the brain…to the heart…then she stopped talking to me and started talking to herself…language that was foreign to me… that was scary…she would repeat…tef…ea…down syndrome…heart…over and over…and all I could do was cry and panic…and I knew…my baby was hurt…and I could not fix it…and no one else could either…she then said without looking at me…you need to go to Denver…she looked at me and said she could not find the stomach bubble…I said to her you said Down Syndrome…she looked at me surprised that I picked up on that…she said she did not think that the baby had Down Syndrome…that my chances were low…that she did not see any other markers for Downs…I knew then that my baby had Down Syndrome…I just knew…I walked out of the room and her nurse hugged me…she hugged me…and the staff behind the counter did not ask for payment…just said good luck we are thinking of you…I called Chad…I could not get to the internet fast enough…and then I saw what was possibly wrong with my baby…her esophagus not attached to the stomach and a blockage between her esophagus and her trachea …how would they fix her? will she live? does she have a butt hole? and her heart what will they find with her heart…all questions 365 days ago that would not be answered until she was born…the only thing that was for sure is that my baby was a girl and she was carrying an extra chromosome…today I am glad this day is almost over…I think it is a milestone…a day that will just come an go next year…I am beginning to celebrate my little girl…and I like her extra chromosome…she has something not everyone does!