lets give a smile!

There is a women (mom) that drives or walks by my house everyday…she drops her kiddos off at school…so I stalked her because I want to ask her what she thinks about the preschool her child attends and the one Max will attend next year…things I have noticed about her…2 kiddos…nice car…boat & 4 wheelers…nice house…stay at home mom….I want all of this….I want the BIG house she lives in…all the goodies like a boat….and I want to stay home and not work…I want to be able to take Maddie to therapy or doctors appointments with out it being a production…I want to be able to take and pickup Max from school…and be involved in his classroom….I want to hold Maddie ALL the time and do her workouts with her ALL the time…and not have to be concerned with 5 other kids….I know CAMPARE is a dirty word…but I have it…I compare all babies to Maddie…and I know if I could work with her more through out the day she would be farther along on her milestones….I noticed today that this women is unapproachable- hence why I have never so much as said hi to her…and she is never smiling…I wonder why she is sad or mad or bored? I wonder if she has a hard life something I could not know…just by watching her for the last 2 years…so I got to thinking what people think of me....I am unapproachable…I hardly smile…and I keep my head down to avoid any conversation with people I do not know…or no longer want to know….I do not call friends or family to make small talk…so I figure I need to change my attitude….I need to stop watching and start participating…I contacted my local Child Development Center and they are going to hook me up with some other Moms that have kiddos born with Ds for play dates with me and Maddie…I think both of us can learn, grow, and I can become more confident as a mother to Maddie …I want to be happy…I want to be content…and I miss my SMILE…