Saturday, April 10, 2010

am I singing the blues...

Postpartum depression, baby blues…do I have it? did I have it? Maybe…
***Courtesy of BabyCenter
Could I be suffering from postpartum depression? If your mood doesn't lift after two weeks, you may have postpartum depression (PPD). Up to 20 percent of new mothers experience clinical depression, which can surface any time within the first postpartum year.
Symptoms of PPD include:
• insomnia
• weepiness or sadness
• diminished interest in once pleasurable activities
• difficulty concentrating
• change in appetite
• anxiety
• moodiness and irritability
• withdrawal from family and friends
• excessive guilt
• panic attacks (symptoms include a racing heart, dizziness, confusion, and feelings of impending doom)
• suicidal, scary, or constant negative thoughts

this sounds like a “normal” day in my gamut of emotions! so when I was pregnant with Max…the whole Tom Cruise thing happened…and I was so outraged I have not seen a Tom Cruise movie since…and I just want to say I do not agree with him at all…but for me-- this is my journey…and I will listen to the voices in my head! so with that said…as I am processing this new life….I am beginning to deal with the facts that are in front of me…the fact that I have a child that has an extra chromosome that seems to make some uncomfortable and say ooohhh!! BIG sigh that follows…do I have any of these symptoms of PPD…of course…and it is exasperated by reactions and comments from others….that I let get under my thin skin…but a pill is not going to help---because today I think I can self diagnose and properly treat! so in a couple of years…when I have to get off of the medication…my little girl will still have the extra chromosome, heart issues, and TEF…and people will still look at her with pause…and they will not look at me…so I have decided that I will not medicate myself…I am not saying it is wrong for others…but it is not for me at this time…I have to work this out in my head…and embrace that my little family has a little extra…and I like that part…what I do not like is how friends do not want to understand…and family members pretend it is not happening…well Maddox happened and as her mom I have to make it work…the other night at soccer…a mom that is pregnant kept on talking with me…which is good…she kept trying to see Maddie…I was a little put off by this…it was windy and in my very short experience I am very leery of other peoples responses…Maddie began to fuss so I took her out of the stroller and the pregnant women literally gasps -- loud ---then says something to her husband…then the uncomfortable silence came…nothing was spoken after that…and she was not at the game today…I know my Maddie is cute and funny…but that reaction is a little dramatic even for me...so do I have the baby blues…maybe…and sometimes other people just do not help!

4 comments:

  1. Awwww.... she is darling! I found your blog through facebook. All that matters is that you LOVE her... and it sounds like you do that beautifully!

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  2. Maddie is absolutely adorable!! How lucky you are to have her and how lucky she is to have you for her Mommy!!

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  3. Thinking of you...you're definitely not alone.

    <3 *hugs*

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