Friday, October 1, 2010

a different road...

October is Down Syndrome awareness month...so I have been tossing the 31 for 21 campaign…I love the idea of everyday bringing awareness to my cause…I have to admit I am not a fan of sharing the month with other causes…I think it is hard to get the word out when there is so much to celebrate and campaign for…I have been thinking a lot about my reactions after Maddie’s diagnosis…the one that has been really clogging my mind is whether to terminate my pregnancy…I was not happy on how I was told…it was over the phone at approx 2:15 pm in the afternoon…I remember hearing the phone at 12:00 pm and thinking the Doctor was not to call until after 4:00 pm and Chad should be home by then…in my heart I knew the diagnosis…I new she was a girl and she was going to be born with Down Syndrome…I got up from my nap and saw the answering machine blinking…I hesitated playing the message…I knew when it was the Doctor not the nurse what the diagnosis was…I left a message and he called back immediately…his words…your amino came back positive for trisomy 21…it is confirmed it is a girl…I can patch you to the secretary to set up a time to terminate your pregnancy…I was speechless…I was devastated and he put the thought of killing my baby in my head…and there was no getting it out…it took me about a week or two to come to the decision that I would go through with having Maddie…after 17 months of being Maddie’s mom…I think that prenatal testing is absurd…I have a hard time believing there is a test to eliminate my daughter…92% of women do terminate there baby with a positive test…I do not judge them…I just know that it was not the road for me…when I look at Maddie she smiles and laughs…she is a human and she has a brain that is VERY functional…I love reading other blogs and learning with parents of children with Ds…when I was talking with Maddie this morning…I wondered what do our blog friends sound like? Do they giggle like Maddie? Do they talk and make the same noises as Maddie…her sounds are unique to me I have never heard a baby talk like she does…or shake like she does with excitement…all things I would have never known if I had made another choice…

2 comments:

  1. Yes, that 92% is always astounding to me. And to think that 1 in every 733 *live births* has T21, think about how much higher that rate would be if those 92% didn't terminate. I'm glad you made the choice you did - Maddie's a beautiful and unique little doll. I bet your doctor sure was surprised at your choice, though! I hope you, or someone else, get the opportunity to educate him about how to deliver that prenatal diagnosis in the future. It doesn't have to come with a death sentence attached. Thanks for posting this!

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  2. Prenatal testing is fine when they are looking for things that may need to be corrected after birth, such as heart defects and stuff...but "screening" for Down syndrome turns my stomach. The thing is that most people dont know anything about Ds when first faced with it...and the truth is fear can make us do many things we wouldnt normaly do...like terminate a pregnancy. Educating people about Ds is so important...and I have to say Doctors need more info on it too!!

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