no teeth...no solids...

On Monday night Maddie choked…on a noodle…a baby noodle…it was different this time…the sound…the expression on her face…I knew it was not good…I took her out of her chair…started the process…her colors were not good…I ran outside calling for Chad…he started to try to make her vomit…she began puking and stuff came out…she started asking for more food…so I gave her some pureed green beans…again she began puking…so we began the process of getting Max ready to go with friends…and us heading to the ER…you see this is our new “normal”…to make sure this was a worthy trip to the ER we gave her some milk…yep…she puked it up…nothing was getting down…so we dropped Max off and we headed to the hospital…on the way there...Maddie perked up and began talking and just acting good…so I gave her some water…and there in the car I had to pull her out of her seat and make sure she did not drown in the car on bottled water and she puked…this was me not thinking…this was me thinking I could away with NOT going to the hospital…we arrived and we sat for 2 ½ hours in the waiting room…finally we went back and a doctor saw us…he of course had to put fluid down her and she again threw it up…this is going on 4 hours with having something lodged in her throat…and us powerless to hurry up the process…we could have been in Denver with her doctors….anyways x-rays were done and it confirmed the lodged noodle…surgery…yes that is what I said…Maddie at 12 am was put under and scoped with strange surgeon that we were not familiar with…the surgeon was awful and this is when living in a rural area is not a good thing…by the time he got in there…the noodle was gone! really…ya think…of course it was gone…6 hours later of her coughing uncontrollably…braking capillaries in her face and her acid reflux making her arch and throw back….the noodle was gone…my baby was put under…and then at 2 am they wondered why she was not waking up from anesthesia…so they admitted us to the hospital…at 8 am her pediatrician walked through the door…I was so happy to see him…I knew we would be going home…after this I have realized a few things…I love the doctors that have been with us from the beginning…I know they know Maddie and what there limitations are…I hate that Chad and I know more about her medical issues then the people that are trying to be the doctors and nurses in our area…and I know that this is our new “normal”…that Max knows that when Maddie has to go to the doctor he goes to friends homes…that he may or may not come home that night and sleep in his own bed or see his family…and Maddie knows that she just has to survive…with poking, prodding, and people that can only say….”you are so cute”…I know she was thinking…who cares if I am cute…just help me…just do your job…Maddie is doing good…she is back on pureed only foods no chunks…18 months no teeth and no good food…after Monday it reminded me to slow down…AGIAN…this is not a race…that Maddie is not the parent I am…so when she is throwing a fit to eat with us and our foods…I have to say no…I have to give her things that she cannot choke on an hurt herself…with every choke I understand there is a possibility for surgery and for repair of her esophagus…so today I slowed down…still frustrated with our local hospital and doctors…and relieved that Maddie is alive an kick’ in…