2 of hearts...

Sometimes I go to a different world when I am with Maddie…it is so peaceful…it is close to perfect-as perfect can get…I like that place it is where time slows down…it is time that I can enjoy her and that she can enjoy me…I hear nothing but Maddie’s sweet sounds…then the bubble pops…I yearn for more of this time…I am not sure if I struggle with Down Syndrome as much as I struggle being a parent of two children…they are equally divine and wonderful children…but I become sad when I cannot give them all that they need…it was a hard adjustment when Maddie joined our family…because I needed to cuddle her and sometimes I had to put Max on the back burner…sometimes when I read with Max…Maddie wants to join in…we of course let her…and Max puts aside the temptation to get frustrated that Maddie takes over the book…he is so patience with her…so kind…he is 5 years old and already making sure she does not fall…Max used to be the center of attention…and very much demanding of people’s time and attention….but he is now more calm and quiet…people would say hi to him before Maddie came…and now they bypass him and go straight for Maddie…he does not seem to notice but it sure gets to me…he is equally as great…and he is equally deserving of a simple smile and hello…I want so much for my children…and when we step out into the world it is so un-predicting how people will treat both of them…how they will react to them…Maddie who is sweet and ever so giving of smiles…and Max who is sweet and wants to share a story….sometimes I think I have slowed down so much compared to the rest of the world…that I am no longer able to relate to the world…