Monday, January 25, 2010
Blue...
blue that is what I would describe myself these days…I was such a happy person…now I feel vulnerable…inadequate…I wish I could just snap out of it…but I cannot…I go back to maybe it is because I did not exercise this weekend…or eat good foods…I am just struggling with myself…my identity…who am I…am I a strong mother that fights for her kids as hard as she plays with her kids…or am I a wife that cannot seem to balance anything that would support her husband…I used to smile an laugh and just be loud and not care…now I am reserved, shy and scared…the world seems to be going on with out me…I am not sure if I am jealous of it…or shocked that life goes on even when you are not participating in it…I guess time will tell…I guess for now I will eat more fruits and veggies…
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Kimberly, if you can, get a copy of "The Year My Son & I Were Born" by Kathryn Lynard Soper. I think you would love it, and I think you can relate to a lot of what the author writes about when coming to terms with sadness. Kathryn's youngest son, Thomas, has Down syndrome. She has seven children altogether and she dealt with some very heavy emotions.
ReplyDeleteHer book has helped me immensely to clarify what I was feeling and why I was feeling blue.