Wednesday, March 23, 2011

true emotion

To say that milestones are a big deal in our world…would be a lie…they are a HUGE deal…like the biggest thing since having Maddie…I am not sure why…but I love them…I love to see her accomplishment on her face and in her swagger…Maddie is full of firsts…she is almost exploding with new things daily…just this week…she began standing up in her crib, pretending to blow her nose, laying on the floor yelling at the DVR to play Baby Einstein-Old McDonald…and today she ate a cut up banana…these are HUGE deals in our world…we take nothing for granted…we never short change anything about Maddie…when she took her first steps…I cried, I sobbed…I have never felt more joy…I was overwhelmed immediately...it is hard to explain…with Max I assumed he would walk…but with Maddie in the back of my head there is doubt…of what she will and will not do …in the beginning it was like Maddie was not real…she was just there…I loved her…but interaction with her felt strained and mechanical…I did not feel I had a typical “normal” connection between me and her….now I have never felt a deeper connection with another person….she is truly the daughter I have always wanted…it helps she is full of herself…cute…funny....and naughty...she is all up in our grills…demanding center stage…when she pulls me close for a hug and kiss…I swell with love…a love that is so raw and strong…it seems when it comes to Maddie…she brings the most primal emotion out in me…she has made me more scared then I ever thought I could be…more strong then I ever thought I could be….and more at peace then I ever thought I could be…yeah to being Maddie’s mom….

6 comments:

  1. Oh, beautifully written!! I can so feel that love between the two of you. It's been so interesting watching your journey here on your blog for so long. Maddie's developing that beautiful little personality that will have everyone she meets eating out of her hand. Be prepared for so many more amazing, wonderful "firsts" to come!!!

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  2. This post brought me to tears, I'm still crying! I loved it EVERY SINGLE WORD! Maddie is turning into such a big girl and I'm so grateful I get to watch her grow...thank you for sharing your sweet girl with us!!! :)

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  3. It only keeps getting better and better too...trust me. The love you grow to have for this little girl is beyond anything you could even imagine. They grab your heart and never let go! What a beautiful post....

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  4. Loved this post Kim...My bond with Russell has changed and grown stronger over this past year also. In the beginning it felt more like he was a project and a "community" baby...having so many people telling me what to do with him and how, and when, it was hard to just relax and enjoy him. Its amazing how much a person can grow and change in one year!
    I have loved watching Maddie grow this year, she is awesome, and her little personality cracks me up!

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  5. Awesome post! I too feel an amazing connection with Lucas, I am so blessed to be his mommy.

    And yay for milestones!

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  6. I love this post! And I too feel that special connection. I love watching Maddie's personality and spunk develop! I hope we can get Maddie and Claire together some day. I think they'd be quite a pair!

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