Sunday, January 2, 2011

stick n stones...

I tend to shy away from conflict…I used to get a rise out of it…I even enjoyed drama…I enjoyed making fun of people…I enjoyed judging them at first glance and going on with my day as if I did not hurt a sole because I did it between friends…oh how things have changed in my selfish little world…I became a mother of one of those whispers…I do not like to upset myself anymore so I do not look at 20/20 reports of “what would you do if someone…” used the “r” reports…I do not look at pictures with disparaging remarks about my child or any other person that has a difference of societies presumed “norm”…so yesterday I saw a message to check a facebook page that has pictures of people with Down Syndrome and make sure that my child was not used in one of these photos…generally I would have ignored it…I would have just said I do not want to know…but I did…I clicked on it and cried…I got an upset tummy and had to go to sleep to cope with the sadness that I felt...all I could think of is that this is my fear…a fear that people like to dismiss because they think everyone is made fun of…that people think that in today’s world that people do not make fun of people the way they use to…well this page with its 36 followers is proof that ignorance is alive…I was thankful to see only 36 people thought this was a likable page…but how sad…that my child is thought of as less then human that they need to make a page to tell the world that my child that was born with a little extra needs to be pointed out and laughed at…this was one of my fears when I found out that Maddie was being born with Down Syndrome…that I cannot protect her from stupid…I cannot protect her from people that think she is less then a human because she was born with cherub features…Chad and I where flipping through the channels a couple months back and came across Larry the Cable Guy…we went to a live show a couple years back and I peed my pants I thought he was so funny…as I watching his special; he said “it” and made repeated gestures towards the “r” word…Chad turned the channel…neither one of us thought he was funny anymore…he had lost his luster and just sounded ignorant…a couple of weeks ago a person posted that they were going to go “spazz” out at a Special Olympics fundraiser…I found this statement completely ignorant…I am not up for debate on this topic…I will not wavier on my feelings for words, statements, phrases, or even gestures that are insensitive…I no longer feel the need to correct every slip or educate someone that thinks it is funny to make fun of a group of humans…I just feel sorry for them that there ignorance will never allow them to ever get to know my child and the greatness she could teach them and show them…I am still not sure what I will do if any of these phrases or gestures are done around Maddie…I am still thinking of how to teach her compassion to others ignorance…the other day when I was sitting on the toilet…Max walked in and asked why my legs hung off the toilet…I said because I am big…he said no it is because you are fat…so right then and there while I was on the toilet I had a conversation with my 5 year old about insensitive speech, language and words…he grasped the concept…he said sorry…and that was the first step in raising a human tolerant of other people…fat is a learned word to hurt and so is the “r” word…

4 comments:

  1. I share your fears, friend! I was upset with that site too! There will always be those, blinded by ignorance...........and there will ALWAYS be "US" too. You are a wonderful mommy & advocate for Maddie:) There is strength in numbers...........and we got 36 beat!!!!

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  2. Ugggg...Seriously there is actually a site!! Whats wrong with people!! I know I am sensitive to words and phrases now, and at the same time I know I cant change the ignorant people who say them. The future scares me a little. I want to protect Russell from everything out there...It scares me to think what if I cant?
    LOL...I guess as Mothers we need to make those teaching moments count...I couldnt have done it on the toilet, but good job! I agree with you FAT is a learned word and it IS every bit as hurtful!

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  3. I too despise the "R" word. It is a difficult concept to teach your kids compassion sometimes when we live in a cruel world.

    I heard something the other day, an example for telling kids about words. It said that "words are like toothpaste, once it's out, you can't put it back in." It is so true and so simple for understanding, you can't put them back in, when they're out, they're out.

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  4. I hate that there are sites like that. Seriously makes me wonder what is wrong with people. I refused to look at the comments though. It just wasn't worth the heartache.

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