Monday, January 24, 2011

good balance...

Maddie’s hugs are unbelievable…the way she pulls you in and clasps her hands around your neck…it is like true love all bottled up into one moment…Maddie has more and more personality showing through…she likes to wiggle her head with attitude and she talks smack with her Maddie talk…she has a swagger to her that I have never seen in a child…2 years ago I questioned if I was going to keep her…I questioned if I was going to keep myself…and today I cannot imagine this world with out Maddie…when you think about the universe and how it spins and how we are all in balance…and my decision that I held in my hands to kill Maddie…would have put the universe off balance…mine and my families universe anyway…yesterday Chad and I looked at each other with such peace watching our children play together and love…I am amazed in what Maddie has shown me in 20 short months…everything is ok…and well balanced for my Libra soul…

7 comments:

  1. I'm forever grateful that I didn't know about Sutter's Ds until after he was born. I can't imagine the internal struggles you went though during that time. I have to say life with Maddie looks pretty darn wonderful! ;)

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  2. I tend to think sometimes that finding out prenataly would be more difficult...Because there would be so much fear and you would be faced with that choice...I have such respect and admiration for the Moms who chose life for their children even though they were scared and didnt know what the future held, it would take such strength, such courage! Maddie is awesome! This was a beautiful post :)

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  3. I agree with Wren and Jenny. We didn't get the tests done, and it wouldn't have changed whether or not we kept him, but I would have struggled so much keeping my sanity that it wouldn't have been healthy to have known before he was born. It takes a strong momma to go through that. hugs.

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  4. I'm with the girls. I'm glad I didn't know, not even about his major heart defect. I would have worried about him the whole pregnancy! That video is so stinkin cute!

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  5. Loved this post. Made my heart smile. Whenever someone tells me, "I could never have made the decision you made." I tell them, "I never thought I could either...but I for one, am glad we chose our girl:)" Maddie is SO stinkin' cute. You're a good Mama and she's a lucky little girl!

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  6. I'm putting together a slideshow and would love to include Maddie...if you are interested, email me? Thanks!

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  7. Termination was never an option for us, but I remember the fear when I was pregnant. There were days I was sure I couldn't handle ANY child, let alone one with special needs. These days, like you, I can't imagine my life without her.

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