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Thursday, January 6, 2011

family hugs...

When we came home from having Maddie in Denver…one of the first things we did was bring her to visit her pediatrician…he is Max’s doctor and we love him...when I called him to tell him about Maddie and asked if would still see her...he was amazing --he said that he had not heard of TEF/EA but he would do research and talk with the doctors in Denver…he assured me that he would work with our team of people in Denver to help our little girl…he has followed through...he gets updates from the doctors in Denver and he updates them regularly…when he has a question he consults them…he is amazing…even more amazing is what he said to Chad and I the first time he saw us…he asked “How are you two?” and we responded “fine”…he then stated that the divorce rate for parents with special needs can be 85% to 90% higher then the average…so he said to us straight up…that we need to be strong- and work together to raise Maddie…that we need to be healthy and do what we can to stay strong…every time we see him in and around our town or at the office…he always asks us how we are…and he means it…so last night I noticed anytime I touch Chad…Maddie scurries to be with us…she begs to come and sit with us…or do a family hug...Max has always loved family hugs…but Maddie is different…she really seems to have a sense of security in Chad and I together…when I kiss Chad…she kisses Chad…and when he is holding her and I touch him she just melts in to the both of us…Maddie has made our marriage stronger…when I had Maddie I was scared and frustrated…Chad was strong and calm…it took Chad about 12 hours to come to loving, accepting and being excited to be Maddie’s dad…even though it took me a bit longer…he stuck by me and just held my hand…I can see why the divorce rate is higher…with all the medical issues, financial burdens and just the stress of what if’s…I am thankful someone just put the percentage out there…


  1. I can tell just by the way you write that you have a very loving family. It's wonderful to hear about your special bond. I believe too that Lucas has made us stronger. Not just our immediate family but the whole extended too.

    I have heard this statistic also but I could have sworn that I had heard that the statistic with a child with Ds is lower?

  2. I, too, had heard that the divorce rate was lower with children with Ds as opposed to other special needs.

  3. Sounds like you have a great Doctor. My family Doctor also works with the Specialist we have for Russell, they share files and informaton...Makes me feel more secure knowing there is more than just one person watching out and checking up on things.
    Brad and I have definatly grown and become stronger in our marriage since havng Russell. But I also can see how the stress of everything involved could cause a higher divorce rate!

  4. I too have heard that the divorce rate is lower with Ds...I think special needs can cause stress, but so can anything. It's all how you deal with it!