Monday, September 27, 2010

its fine...

Looking back at my ideals regarding parenting…is down right hilarious! I thought I knew everything…and thought it was not hard or tiring…for gosh sakes I did what my parents told me to do! Not really… but I have a short memory…and then I thought I had mastered parenting and then I had Maddie…I really thought I would never EVER let my child play in a indoor playground at the mall or McDonalds…I have and I do but I still try not to! Discipline in public…I have a 5 year old… enough said! Did I mention he is strong willed…I love the looks from newbie parents and older people that forget what a 5 year old is like…and they look at me like are you seriously going to let your child talk to you this way…and then they say…NEVER...yeah I was one of those people…and we will talk when your 5 year old does it to you! It is a stunning reaction that comes over me…when he yells or is disrespectful...first I have excuses and then I have the deer in the head light look…lately the “mommy look” has been working and the prompting before we go somewhere…but still parenting is hard enough without EVERYoNes opinion! I used to give my opinion on parenting to people…when I was new at it and when I did not have children…funny…I have stopped reading every parenting book…and I try to keep my parenting style to myself…unless solicited…parenting books are a waste of time…not one child is the same…not one child can be told what to do and when to do it…they are people with a brain let them have an opinion…this is the reason my son…is well difficult right now! but I realized that I was teaching him to comply…that is all good and well until he is 16 years old and a person wants him to engage in risky behavior…or when someone is trying to hurt him…”no” can be powerful…this is something I will foster in Maddie…the power of her opinion...even if I do not like that opinion…sleeping in a family bed was something I thought I would never do…but we did with Max…and it was great…then when Maddie came I slept with Maddie and Max slept with Chad...it was great and our kids are fine…and Max transitioned into sleeping on his own and Maddie sleeps on her own…they just wanted to and we listened…when I was pregnant with Max someone gave me a book on how to put your baby on a schedule…yeah this did not work for me…and Max put me on a schedule and Madde put me on a schedule … it worked out fine…the book should have highlighted routine…not schedule…but I am not the expert with a book deal…I really thought you could make a child eat…it turns out you cant…so currently I have Maddie not eating because she wants food she cannot chew or swallow…so I have to feed her with a mirror and she gets her own bowl and spoon…can you say HUGE mess…and Max only eats when you play the game “I bet you can’t eat that”…parenting is nothing of what I thought…but BETTER then I expected…

3 comments:

  1. right on! i've come to realize that when people give me parenting advice they are really just telling me what THEY did or do. it has nothing to do with me. i usually just nod and smile or say, "oh." i even do it with doctors if they ask about feeding schedules or introducing food or nursing or sleeping or blah blah blah. i just give the answers they expect...is that bad? oh this is Erika, Michelle (Miller) Long's sister. I like your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  2. when I had just one kid I was the perfect mother, then they grow and start talking back and you have more kids and learn to go with the flow...follow your mothering instincts...you're doing great!
    And I don't even read parenting books and magazines anymore....they are worthless..haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha ha, great post and I totaly agree with everything said!! Every kid IS different and what works with one may not with another. I find I have to deal with each of my children in a different way.
    Good luck with your "difficult" five year old...we have one of those here, so I feel your pain!! LOL

    ReplyDelete