Thursday, August 5, 2010

Funky...

I remember when my innocence was stolen…I used to be a half full girl…I remember when I would say if you did the right thing…the right thing would be done to you…that changed when I had Maddie…not that Maddie is a “bad thing” she is perfect…well now I think she is perfect…but I did not think that when I was carrying her or when I delivered her...it is recent that when I look at her I melt…it is recent that I look at her and smile…the day the doctor said “Down Syndrome” my world crashed…I questioned everything…my belief system, my self worth, humanity in general…when I see a funky person walking down the street…and that person scares me or invokes some emotion...I think you will not love my daughter because she was born with Down Syndrome…but some one will love and spawn with the person that made me cringe… Yes I have become less judgmental of people in general…but my “prom queen” attitude will rise up and I will think…how is this…my Maddie is cute, smart, funny and has a great giggle…but people will not get to know her because she invokes fear in them…just like the funky person does in me…I get that this is hypocritical…but I often wonder is there people with Down Syndrome that marry outside there “race” or are they looked down at if they do…and am I over thinking this subject…I am thinking... probably YES!!!

2 comments:

  1. I havent looked to far down the road with Russell, I cant just yet, I'm not ready. I am ok with the way things are now and so thats what I am going with. I still wonder too what he will be like as a teenager, how normal those years will be for him, if he will have friends, a girlfriend...sigh...but I find if I think to far ahead and get scared it ruins how I feel now. One day at a time :)
    And ANYONE who comes into contact with Ms Maddie is going to LOVE her :) I think her life is going to be more normal than you think...try not to look to far down the road...I know, easier said than done! HUGS!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maria Gabriela is an adult women with down syndrome that is married and have a beautiful little daughter. Read about her here http://www.planetaeducacao.com.br/portal/artigo.asp?artigo=1526
    and here http://oglobo.globo.com/sp/mat/2008/06/13/apos_2_meses_bebe_de_mae_com_sindrome_de_down_pai_com_atraso_mental_registrado-546787643.asp

    ReplyDelete