Wednesday, September 14, 2011

limits...


Limitations…not something I meant to do…but it is something I struggle with…finding out prenatally that Maddie was created with an extra chromosome…was a good and a not so great thing…in the process of dealing with the surprise…the reading and research I did…made me think things that are not true…it made me more often then not put limitations on Maddie…Yes I always try to think Maddie can move mountains…but in the back of my head I know the truth…and sometimes my truth is wrong…so then I have re-learn something…I have to try to change my opinion…this is easier said then done…example…I would tell myself Maddie would walk…but I never in my wildest dreams imagined how hard/long that task would be…example…I will continue to tell myself Maddie can self feed, chew, swallow…but I never thought I would still be helping her at age 2.5…example…communication…I really thought Maddie would be an exception to this…I truly believed she would have some words…and she does…but not meaningful words…not enough words to tell me if she is hurt, sad, sick...she can tell me she is hungry or thirsty…but I really thought with our enriched vocal environment…she would be talking before the “norm’…but I was wrong…so then I put undo limitations on her...example…Maddie cannot do without me…because how will she tell someone if she needs something…Maddie cannot be in tumbling…because she will not understand…she understood just fine…she exceeded my expectations and then some…however, last night she walked away from me for the first time…we were at the farmers market with a ton of people and she walked into the crowd never once turning back to check in…Maddie has no fear…Maddie has no idea to come back to mom…to find brother…Maddie just lives in a world that I do not get…that scares me…I call her name and she never turns back…I try to catch her and she just walks and decides to do somersaults on the cement…with no inclination that it hurts…that she should choose the grass…that she should see a familiar face…but she does not care…she just continues…I do not want to put fear in her…but in some situations she has to have it…how do you teach it…how will she know not to walk into danger…to stop and to find me…and to ask for help…will this come with age and when is it to late…have I put so many limitations on her by keeping her so protected…that I have hinder her success to being independent…

8 comments:

  1. I'm hoping the 'fear' comes with maturity :)
    Until then, we no longer play in the front yard... sigh.

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  2. Maddie is just like most 2 1/2 year olds. No fear, doesn't listen & so on & so on! Don't worry--be assured that ALL kids are so much alike that it really is funny if you just look for the humor. I'm 68 years old, raised 2 kids & now have 4 grandkids. Trust me I have earned all of my gray hair! Just enjoy the journey.

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  3. Samantha was always pretty fearless, and I panicked at the thought that she would never know that healthy fear that keeps you safe. However, as she has gotten older, her understanding has gotten so much better. She recognizes boundaries and limitations. Not all of her peers do - each child is different. However, I agree with Kristin, it should come with maturity.

    I know several child who wear those tracking bracelets that are provided by local police forces for those at risk of elopement - children with special needs and the elderly with dementia. I think these are an amazing invention, and I know that the parents of the children that wear them have so much more peace of mind for those "just-in-case" scenarios. You may want to check with your local about that...

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  4. Natural consequences help anyone learn, teach her just like you would your son, even if it seems like she isn't getting it, she will eventually, in her own time. Everything will happen just don't put your focus on "when" :-)

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  5. I'm so hoping it comes with maturity for Sutter because he is so fearless and Landon never was! Landon is cautious of everything...not always good either! Sutter started walking on Sunday and last night he thought why not run, lets just say it will be a miracle if he doesn't break his arm or smash his face worse than he has already because of this lack of fear/limitations! Scares the crap out of me but I'm not sure how to remedy it. With any luck as they get older that sense of fear will come into play or at least their understanding of what we're telling them! :)

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  6. Emma wore a leash for a few years and I didn't care what others thought. They didn't have to chase her around!
    Maddie is like other kids her age.
    Except she may be a little bit more independent and fearless...who does she get that from mom??
    -erin

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  7. Owen has the escape gene, we have to strap in in the stroller if we want to go into a shop or to the market other wise he is OUTTA HERE! Hoping it is just a (short) phase celebrating all things upright (walking and running). Oh and can you do a post about tumbling class would love to hear about it. Viv

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  8. I have been noticing issues somewhat like this with Russell. He doesn't understand danger or have fear of things I think he should at this age...Once he climbs up onto a bed, he will roll around and eventually tumble over the edge because he just doesn't get the whole "falling" thing...He doesn't fear it. To be honest it makes me nervous that he doesn't grasp this yet...Ahh, well...Maybe it is a maturity thing and it will all click in eventually.
    Oooh, and I want to see a tumbling posts also :)

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