Tuesday, September 20, 2011

it...


Does “it” bother me…I never know quite how to answer this question…”it” seems to have a connotation to “it” when asked does “it” bother me…”it” really can be anything…”it” can be that Maddie is not talking and just plain screaming for communication…”it” being that she does not seem to follow any direction or lead…unless “it” is benefiting her…typical oh yes…but still stressful…”it” can be that Maddie likes to eat dirt and smell her brother’s butt…”it” can be that her eating is VERY up and down…is “it” ok…sure “it” just depends on my mood, the day and that moment…Maddie is so unknown to me still…everyday seems to bring different emotions and wonders…I keep glimpsing at her in great awe and then a overwhelming worry comes over me that her future health is so up in the air…that she is stricturing (esophagus closing) again and I am seeing the overwhelming signs and know that surgery is upcoming…to know that this is a forever concern…does “it” bother me…yep…can I handle it -yep! do I want to handle “it”…not really…but that is my job…and I guess what I was put here to do…handle “it” and what ever comes our way…graciously and with a smile…

6 comments:

  1. Grace is impressive for sure, but not always realistic. It's OK to have some graceless moments too.

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  2. Yup...I can relate to this! "IT" bothers me every once in a while too...Like you said, kind of depends on my mood. When will you guys know about the surgery and when to expect it?
    Love how the blog looks :)

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  3. Kamdyn has been using screaming a lot lately too. Meal times are especially tough. We use signing, but, you know. I'll keep in mind "graciously with a smile" during our next meal time : )

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  4. There are days where "it" bothers me too...like will she get "it" again (the leukemia) or the "it" will be that Emily still isn't walking proficiently enough for me to go anywhere without my double stroller. Gosh, but they are beautiful little souls though aren't they...makes all the "it's" so worth it!

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  5. You know, people always ask how I do "it". What else can we do? We have to do "it", we have no other choice right? Sometimes its so hard, but everytime I look at my sweet babies faces, I can't imagine life without either of them!

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  6. Ah the screaming...I keep saying "use your big boy words" hoping he'll just talk and then he screams in response...yep "it" bothers me. Like you said, smile and move on "it's" life and I prefer it to the alternative! I've been wondering about Maddie's surgery and what decisions you've made!

    I love, love, love the new header and the picture of Maddie dressed up - such big girl!

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