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Hi my name is Kim and I am a recovering bigot and ignorant sole…once was the day I agreed abortion was a woman choice…sole choice…once was ...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

she is a toddler…

by definition I suppose Maddie is a toddler…by stature not so much…by attitude most definitely…her age is something I struggle with…she is almost 19 months old…but I do not see her as this age…I see her as a baby still…as a fragile baby…but she is far from that fragile baby…she is best explained as BUSY…she is very content getting into everything and climbing on things…and throwing attitude when she is not please with something…Maddie is defiant at times and a lover at times…she says “I do” to let her do puzzles and color on her own…I feel I hold her back from things…I think she is not big enough…I think I sometimes subconsciously keep her from moving to the next step because I want her to stay little and prevent her from getting old…into the “unknown” place…I want her to stay a baby so she will not become the older person that I fear…I am scared to let her become a adolescent , a teen, a adult…I can say the right things like I work with her always and celebrate every milestones…but inside I am not celebrating I am sad and scared…this is all stemming from her making HUGE steps in walking…she began the bear crawl and has mastered the 4 point crawl…she is standing for seconds by herself…and walking with assistance…but this is just so much independence…so much toddler…and I am not sure I am ready….


  1. Thats awesome Maddie is doing all that!! But I hear ya on being scared about that next phase. Its crossed my mind before that Russell wont stay a cute little baby forever. Right now I feel protected in a way by that, the fact that he is still little...whats going to happen when he is older, then how will I feel, whats in store for him?...I understand how you feel, the same worries have crossed my mind also.

  2. First of all...YAY MADDIE! That said, I completely hear you. I am watching my Kaety grow so fast and I wonder what will happen when she's older...when she's not that cute, pudgy baby, when people stare and mock and are mean. The first time that happens, I am going to have to control myself so much...not sure I can. And I worry about will I be strong enough to handle situations the way I know I should, the way I want to teach my daughter to. We shall see. For now, I'm trying to (and am) enjoying the moments...the baby...the rest will come and I'm trying not to dwell on the future. (But I still cry sometimes at night thinking of the unknown. I want so much for her and I don't want her to lose that "protection" I feel right now by her being my cute baby.)

  3. One thing that is so nice about our kido's is they stay babies for longer. It just makes it harder to let them out of that baby stage!

  4. I told my husband the other day these exact things. We'll all be okay. One day at a time...even if we have to cry every once in a while. No shame in that.

  5. Ready or not...here they come! I know it's so scary, Emily has been taking some steps into toddlerhood too and part of me is excited but part of me wants her to stay little forever because I know what she is like today and I love it...the unknown future though is a bit scary, I agree!