Monday, December 12, 2011

a little petty...off my chest...

the women that said to me "Maddie seems to understand what is being said" is now her case worker...cannot say I am thrilled about this...so naturally I threw a fit to Chad and started asking questions...questions about her...I asked how much experience has she had...and what experience has she had with our community in regards to Down syndrome..and what is her background with Down syndrome...honestly I could care less if someone has knowledge of any other "ability"...I just want them to know Down syndrome...I do not think a person has to be as close to it as me...but I do like experience and a little thought before they speak...I am not sure she is ready to work with families if she has very limited knowledge in what we are facing...this person is the person that will help us and guide us through Maddie's first introduction to "real" school...I am not sure she has what it takes to get the job done the way I want it done...I am very nervous about this...this is the first time I have said hold up not so fast...conflict is not something I like...but Maddie deserves the best and frankly so do we as her family...I just do not want to deal with someone in this capacity that I have to teach what to say, how to it and how I will be offended if the wrong thing is said....the other day while I was listening to someone else's conversation...in my ob/gyn office a women came out and said to the receptionist...I always get nervous about you know having a baby with my age and such...I thought to myself should I say no what stuff...I am not sure I understand your worry...at all...I do not understand why people worry about Ds and babies...there are much bigger issues to worry about then Ds...there is EA, heart, lungs, etc...but age and Ds that is just nonsense and a waste of a stressor...I really am not sympathetic to someone that is having a baby...you choose to get pregnant take the baby and love it...be thankful it is alive...I know this is cold but really as a society and adults we should know what comes with having sex and having a baby...just because you want a baby with blond hair and blue eyes you may not get it...deal with it...the Duggers...I am so not a fan of them...I think and you can disagree...they are way out of line on what they think is appropriate for our population and for raising children...they do not understand the word simplify...I would like to know how a mother and father can have enough time for all of them...when I struggle with my two...so I got that off my chest...but the HUGE reason I am not a fan...I think it is VERY suspicious that they have not been "blessed" enough to have a child like mine...she is 45 years old 19 kids and counting and no chromosomal things -none...that just sits funny...I am not mocking a miscarriage that is rough and cannot imagine the pain...but I wonder why more people are not having a child like my Maddie...considering statistically we should...and really everyone should have a Maddie...they would laugh more, love more, grow more, understand the true meaning of why life is worth living...with a Maddie they would see what is possible instead of always wanting more...just saying having a "healthy" baby can be taken many different ways...

5 comments:

  1. About the case worker - do you feel comfortable enough having a one on one conversation with her and letting her know you were really uncomfortable with what she said? I've found myself much braver these days, as I advocate for Samantha. Often it's a teaching moment, something the other person can learn from and take with them. I'd say her reaction to that would be very telling. If she's humble, accepting her mistake, great, maybe she's got potential. If she gets defensive or angry, I'd say kick her to the curb, no further questions asked. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. With 80% of this country claiming to be "Christian" I also wonder why there are not more Maddies. Oddly, I know many parents of kids with Ds that would not call themselves Christians. So this topic makes me bonkers! And I admit, I did give the Duggar miscarriage a second thought.

    As for Maddie and school and the new caseworker, you will know what to do when and if anything needs to be done. You are a super advocate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Uggg, really, she is your new case worker?! Ya, that wouldn't really sit well with me either. I agree with Becca, try to talk to her, if she seems to see where you are coming from and gets it fine, if not, she's out the door!

    And I have never really believed the age thing when it comes to having a baby with Ds. I think it is all just a myth that lulls younger women into a false sense of security. Doctors need to stop saying the risk gets higher as a women ages cause that's bullshit! The risk is there no matter what ANY time you get pregnant!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jenny, I like what you said. I was 24 when I got pregnant with Fiona, who has Ds. Just as many young women have a baby with Ds as older women... but a hell of a lot more younger women get pregnant...so your odds are a lot higher in your 30s.

    While I agree the Duggers are a bit bonkers, I know so many women who miscarry in their 40s... because there is a very high risk of miscarry and still birth at that age ( not because they abort, but because the body rejects the pregnancy) With a family that is so strong about letting God plan their family, I would be shocked if they took the power out of God's hand and ended a pregnancy. But you never know. There is not right family size... my husbands mom is one of 15 and their family is so close, strong, grounded and well adjusted. Me... I think I would jump off a cliff if you asked me to add another one to our family of 5 right now. 3 is enough for me :) I have never watched the show.

    As far as the case worker... find another one!!! If something doesn't feel up to par, it probably isn't. And you know. Maddie is lucky to have such an awesome advocate.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would not be happy that the woman is Maddie's case worker. I hate comments like that. They just show such ignorance. Unfortunately I am still dealing with similar comments from my MIL. Makes me crazy!

    ReplyDelete