Monday, August 26, 2013

Blurred Lines...

To explain it is not naked sexy women and men dancing with animals...it is how I see Maddie and her life outside our family...I think Maddie needs more...more then what we are able to give her...so with that more I have to give her over for the weekdays to professionals that know...my ego is shot...I want to be that person that can...I want to know how...but I am not...I coddle Maddie...I seriously think she is so cute and perfect that I do not correct much of what she does (monster i have created) if she wants held -I hold her...if she wants me to feed her -I feed her...if she wants anything I move the earth to comply...I do this because I do the same for Max...yes it has bitten me in the ass...yes my children are very spoiled...but they are mine...and I own it...

Maddie is 4 years old and is completly scheduled from the time she gets up to the time she goes to bed...structured scheduled....and with that Maddie thrives and grows...I am not that person...I am a lets see what the day feels like and then find the adventure...But Maddie must be ready for kindergarden...I want to see her in a full inclusion classroom setting...with limited  help from others...so for this to happen I think this is the best route to get there...

Maddie is not in 'daycare'....she is in preschool and then goes to a intensive therapy program that is everyday...pt,ot, and speech included...and you know what -she loves it...and she also loves coming home with me...but everyday when she wakes up she wants to go to her place...where the therapists love her and teach her and expect her to do great things...and I am trying to muddle my way my own ego...I will get there...because I can put Maddie ahead of my own self need for cuddles...so the structure that Maddie has become so accustomed to should be interesting on our annual family Yellowstone trip! I hope the bears and wolves appreciate Maddie's howls...

2 comments:

  1. Own it mama. I believe I may be headed down your same path. Right now we are 3 days per week, thinking the 5 day a week path may be sooner than next fall.

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  2. None of my kids ever went to preschool, except for Neleah. For some reason she loved it but my other kids hated it so I never forced them to go. But with Russell I feel like I need to get him in there because he needs it more than the other kids did. It makes me sad that I have to do things differently with him than I did for the others...But I need to think of him and not so much of myself and how I feel letting him go .

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