Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Sharing grace...

Easier said then done I think...as my quest goes on to learn how to bend with Maddie...I have to learn how do this gracefully...I am not graceful...anyone that knows me would never put me and grace together and then to put sharing into the mix well that is when all hell breaks loose...when I learned Maddie's diagnosis I hated all the doctors appointments that went with it...all the planning and forethought...then I had Maddie and when I reflected back I was so thankful for all the doctors visits and trips to Denver...it prepared me for life with Maddie...no longer was I scared of hospitals and most importantly I knew how to talk with medical workers...from doctors, to nurses, to office people...i knew how to navigate insurance companies and not care when I called bullshit...but I learned never to let something go...and when dealing with Maddie school communication has been a struggle on my part...I am not sure if I am to good at it...I thought I made it very clear at Maddie's IEP that I needed weekly email communication...I really did not think it was much of a big deal...in the past month I have been asking for more...more updates and real information on how Maddie is doing...not if she is cute or if they like her...how she is really doing...I know that my child is stubborn, independent, loose interest quickly and talks a lot....and I did I mention that she thinks she should be the teacher...well she does with her hand on her hip and telling each child what she thinks they need to do...and I get that this can be really frustrating for a teacher that is trying to teach not just my child...so I asked and asked and got bits and pieces of information..land WHAM a copy of her IEP...and all the stuff I thought I knew she was doing she was...and now she is decrease in behavior skills at school...why would they wait till this to talk with us...I have been asking and the communication I get is that she really enjoyed a activity or that she is loving to dance...it's always been positive...I do not need positive...I need real...I do not like only talking about behavior issues a couple times a year...I think we need to whip it in the butt now...not when it gets to out of hand...so I emailed her teacher and asked for more...again...asked for a behavior plan...asked for reinforcements...asked for them to make sure they are challenging her enough and making realistic expectations for her...I am new to this and I even get the obvious worksheets are NEVER a good thing...real life is what teaches...play...other children...other children with good behavior helping show my girl the way...so this is it...this is my introduction to school and educating Maddie...this preschool is where I will learn grace, I will learn to advocate with out being mean...and simply put I will learn when I need to speak up...how to speak up...and when to shut up...now if I can just keep repeating "help me understand with grace and patience" please!

I email because then it is documented...I want everything I ask for to be on record...for her IEP meetings...

6 comments:

  1. Ugh, lack of clear communication is my biggest complaint with school. At Kimani's school they have this very detailed worksheet that they complete faithfully everyday... I get to see what and how much she ate, all potty info, what activities she had, what mood she was in, and a comment or so about her day. I love it. But her communication notebook, where I would expect details about what exactly she is working on is almost always empty :-(

    And Autumn's school doesn't send home even a daily sheet. I get an email here and there asking me if I want to meet to "catch up".

    Masha, in Gen Ed Kindy, has it written into her IEP that there will be weekly communications with me so that I can pre-teach with her... and basically I get nada. The communication concerning her is the worst because I need to really know what she is working on and how she is doing but when I bug them about it, I feel like I am being pushy... I know I have to find a way to help them communicate with me better because they really have no idea what I expect and need in order to participate in her education...

    Ramble ramble ramble :-)

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  2. Yes, communication is tough unless you are pushy at times. It is a fine line I am learning to maneuver as well. I feel like I have to be annoying to stay on top of things for Kristen's sake so there are no surprises when it comes to meeting time. I often wonder why does it have to be this way...so hard for us mommas to help our kids. It makes us stronger, right? Or so they say, huh...all I can say is I completely understand your frustrations. We all seem to deal with this kind of stuff in our own little worlds.

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  3. Good for you. Stay on top of it, because they will wait until the next meeting to say anything negative. Some just don't like or are afraid of conflict. you may have to say directly to the teacher and the aides and the therapists "I want real and I want it WHEN it happens".

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  4. When I think of Kim, I think of someone who kicks butt and takes names. I hope you never let that fire burn out! XOXO

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  5. I think it is great you are emailing all of your request so it is documented. Russell is not in school yet but I imagine communication with the teachers will be key in helping him succeed. And I would want real reports, not just feel good ones about what a great kid he is. I think you are pushing for the right things Kim...Keep on going!

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