Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Overbearing...

I skirt around things...I write an email...save it in draft...reread it...think about it...I ask myself is it mean...to aggressive...am I being to pushy...I get tired of second guessing myself...I get tired of wondering if I am asking to much...why is it I just cannot say or ask...what the hell is going on with Maddie...what did she do at school today...did she have a good day or a bad day...did everyone be nice to her...did she get her feelings hurt...I have a child that cannot tell me...I have a child that comes home with a stamp on her hand and I do not know why...I have people that teach her all day...and I know very little about them...I know very little about what they do with my daughter...this is when I think I need to go and sit and watch...I would be totally content going to school with Maddie everyday to see how her day went...I think that's why I love tumbling I get to watch what she does...who she plays with...and if she gets hurt...because then I get to talk to her about it and we can have a nice conversation...even though she is not clear in words she is clear in her intent of the jibberish...I get what she is saying...her new therapists give me a full couple of pages of detailed accounts of what she did with Maddie...how Maddie reacted or acted...she puts feelings into it...it is like I am there and Maddie and I can recall her time...it is in a weird way "normal"...I want to know about Maddie day...I want to know if someone hugged her...I want to know what she had for snack...simple enough right! But it is not simple...not in the slightest...it is painful to know I know nothing...this is something I never thought of when Maddie was a baby...it was not on my worry list...not being able to communicate with her was just not there...I thought by 3 almost 4 years old we would be able to have a conversation...but not today...

4 comments:

  1. Ahh my friend, I understand. I made preschool make me a communication book, each day they write "talking point" something to ask and talk with Owey about and it has to include a photo. So last time I got a photo of him sitting on a train With the kids that had builT it from boxes, so when we are at home he can point to the kids and what they are doing and we can "talk" about it. I think is important it helps Owens recall and makes it more "normal" for me. Personally I hate the whole preschool thing it is hard on me, and I know his behavior is not perfect which makes me cringe. Like you I had never met with his assistants until last week when finally because I demanded it and after the meeting they said how great it had been!! Whatever! r, push your way in their Kim I think sometimes they really do not have any idea.

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  2. Oh, yes, so many of us know *exactly* what you're talking about! We, too, make sure that a communication notebook is kept during the day. We read it as soon as we get her home. When the new school year started this past fall, we realized after a couple of days that we weren't getting any notes home (new aides), and quickly said something. It was rectified immediately. Can you maybe arrange to get periodic e-mails throughout the day?

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  3. I am with Russell all day so I have not had to feel the sting yet of not being able to talk to him about his day. I would feel very much the same way you do though, sad that he couldn't tell me what he did that day.
    Becca and Viv have great ideas. Make a communications book and have her teachers fill it out daily. That is a wonderful idea.

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  4. It drives me crazy that I don't know what Sutter did at school...did he play with other kids or by himself? did he go potty (I started marking pullups so I know if he comes home dry or if he got changed)? was he still hungry after snack or did I send enough? They always said he had a good day and he loves to go so I know he's having fun but I hate not being there to see first hand! That's what I love about the ST at our university, I get to set in a room behind a mirror and watch the whole time! Every day I ask Sutter if he had fun, did he play with so and so and he will shake his head yes or no but I want details!

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