Monday, March 4, 2013

few words...

I know now why no one wants to be the people first language police...because it is hard to have your heart held captive by other people's self loathing and ignorance... as i move through this society i hear people talking and laughing and at times trying to be funny...at the expense of my child's diagnosis...I get they dont "mean" it that way...but does that make it ok...I cannot explain the feelings that come over me when I hear the r word...at times i am numb at it...but other times i just cannot contain myself...the more Maddie shows me how "normal", "typical" she is...the more i get offended that others put such judgment in a word...

as i am standing in line at Bountiful Basket enjoying the sunshine...I hear a conversation behind me...filled with ignorance and hate...and then I began taking deep breaths...each one knowing that i have to belly breath to calm down...i know what is coming...i know they are going to say it...and i know i am in no mood to be nice when they do...and then as i stand there i have an internal struggle...do i confront...or do i let it go...do i make them feel like i feel at this moment...or do i not...this is the question for all of us struggling to make a people first place world for our children...as i stand there i brace myself...it is building and sure enough it comes...and there it is "those people are a bunch of retards"...with no hesitation i fly myself around and take off my sunglasses and in one i am going to kill you look i stare that women down...and without words i told her to fuck off...and she did not say one more word the rest of the time we were in line...i hated her in that moment...and at that moment i realized i am the people first language police...i just need to get me the badge...the badge of honor...maybe my badge is Maddie...without words i showed disappointment and contempt...without spewing more hate at her I made her feel like i felt...

on pinterest i see those "funny" ecards and somehow they show up on facebook...when i see them using hate language i always report them...it is my way of protecting myself...making myself feel better...like i am protecting Maddie...i do know it does not make much of a difference...but for that moment i feel better...so to my disgust one showed up on my news feed...and instead of ignoring it or hiding it...i commented that i did not think it was funny...of course the response was...i did not "mean" to hurt or offend anyone...and that took me back...and thought REALLY how could you not intend on hurting anyone...when you posted a supposed funny and it had hate language on it...i am not sure when society stopped being nice so you can be funny...so i evaluated again how i use social media...i place my blinders back on and cup my hands over my ears in attempt to protect my heart...

-March 6, 2013 is the National pledge day to stop the hate language r word...or you can consider doing it everyday...

5 comments:

  1. Ah, you handled that situation very well. One look can speak a thousand words! And I despise those stupid Ecards, 9 times out of 10 they are just ignorant and disrespectful and not even funny at all.

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  2. Beautifully said, beautifully done.

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  3. The other day a mom said to David, "What grade are you in?" He said, "I'm in 7th." She said, "Wow, you are short huh?" I too took huge breathes. As if she didn't already embarass him enough she goes on to say, "My son is 9 and he's taller than you." here's the kicker she says, "But it's on the inside that counts." Thank you for that spiritual enlightenment, may I bow and leave your presence. I find myself at a loss for words every time this happens, but I don't want to have a loss of words. I want to say, "You are being hurtful, please stop." Why can't I do that? Don't know, but I don't like it.

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  4. You are a very brave woman, Kimberly. For that, and a thousand other reason I stand in awe of you...and I love you.Chad's Mother

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  5. That word just rips your heart out. Well handled my friend. Sometimes, it just needs to be done. I hope they think twice now before using it again. Small steps...and we will make a difference.

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