Getting ready for Maddie's sleep study the center would ask will she be ok? I said she is a hospital baby she will be fine...when we go to give blood every 3 months they ask will she be ok? We say yes she is a hospital baby...this term was used to describe Maddie during her 3 week rotation of dilitations on her esophagus...the nurses would be happy to see her becuase they new she plays the part of a hospital baby...Maddie will assist in the placement of the anthesia mask...she will hold her arm out for the blood pressure...she will look the other way when her heart is being checked...at the sleep study it was 45 minutes of placing stickers and wires all over her body....then the cannula...not once did she say no...not once did she turn away...not once did she act like a normal 3 year old Maddie....instead she acted like a hospital baby...one that knows her role...the expectation of everyone...and this is a behavior I have grown to dislike intensely....yes it is nice to not fight with her...yes it is nice not to get nervous about how she will do...I get sad because she is not typical in this respect...that she knows to much about hospitals and doctors....that she knows how to be a patient at such a young age...in the waiting room she was typical stealing others toys trying to talk with everyone...but as soon as we put her in a hospital bed with Adele on the iPad she becomes a hospital baby...I wonder if she will change or if she will always know her role...I guess only time will tell...last week we had to put her on oxygen at sleep time...and as I was placing it on her in her own bed she whimpered...she gave me a look of not here to...this was her safe place...away from a hospital...no wires, no tubes....just her and her dollies...after a week again she has complied with the placement of the cannula...she leaves it alone for the most part...but again I want her to fight...I want her to know it is ok to say no...maybe I have the bigger issue with the oxygen...it is not ok to see her with tubes every night...I don't like it...I want to beleive everything is ok...but not with Maddie...when she is good it is only till something else happens....and then we have to plan on another surgery...is it a big deal...nope because Maddie is a hospital baby...
Monday, March 18, 2013
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:( this made me feel sad, Maddie really is doing amazing at tolerating all that hospital stuff, does she have a doctor dress up set to pretend play being on the "other side?". Owey is always giving me "blood tests" using random things - paintbrushes, pens etc. the medical stuff leaves a big impression on him (his last blood test was 6 months ago) he still take about it!! I understand you hate that she feels passive I really do, hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh this broke my heart to read...she is too little to know how to be a good patient...BUT she is so brave and courageous and something to be admired with how she handles life.
ReplyDeleteAww, reading this made me sad as well. No child should know that much about Hospital routines. It especially broke my heart to read that she probably thought "on no not here too" when having to have oxygen at night...I can totally see her feeling that way, poor thing :(
ReplyDeleteMadds sure is a tough little girl. I think she gets her fighting spirit from her Mom :) Hugs to you my friend.