Friday, November 18, 2011

a little whine...

Maddie what color is the puppy? Maddie what color is the puppy? Maddie what color is the puppy? say purple…purple…purple…Maddie blank stare and then a side smile…have you ever heard Maddie speak a clear word in the 3 months you have known her? NOOOOOOO…I finally spoke up in front of everyone and said she cannot speak…it was not fun…I was not proud of it…but what am I suppose to do? Continue letting everyone wait, stare, and courtesy smile…then she added two new songs to tumbling…not a huge deal…but it is to Maddie…when the song started and we were not doing tummy rockers like we should have…well lets just say…Maddie in my lap sucking her thumb and twiddling my hair…Maddie’s response to anything that is different or changed up in her world…I knew maybe this day would come that Maddie would show signs of distress with change…but I did not know it would be so hard for me to watch…I felt like I could not help her cope or understand…we will continue going to tumbling…I know it is so good for her…I also am learning life skills I need to help Maddie…maybe I will get some tact…maybe some confidence in standing up for Maddie…I caught myself after this encounter jumping in to do things to fast for Maddie…the kids bring the carpet squares to the balance beam…most kids take a straight line and throw it down…Maddie has a particular spot she likes to put it and it has to be perfect…so again everybody is waiting on Maddie…when Maddie puts her puppy in the box after we are done… she has to pickup the box and put the box away…I think it is great…but sometimes I get the feeling others are sick of Maddie taking so much time…I am not sure how much to push Maddie…I am not sure how to encourage her…I say this because I do not get much of a response out of her…Maddie will respond to me for food…example…I ask good? more? and she will respond with a yes or no…but if it is a task…help me set the table? empty the dishwasher? Nothing…so I lead her to the dishwasher and she helps…I give her a plate and she throws it on the table…I love the pecs we are doing she can hand me a card and it tells me what she wants…and she has been signing more since the introduction of this program…but I cannot seem to ask her a simple question and get the response I am looking for…and one last thing…hearing her say Mom would be great!

9 comments:

  1. Oh, I feel your words. I wish I could be there to give you a hug and tell you I promise that it is going to be fine. It took me a LONG time to truly be okay with certain things. Being out in public, doing things at Kristen's pace, and having all those stares...took me a long time. Now, I just smile and keep on doing it is what I am with Kristen because I am in a better spot. But, at Maddie's age, I was not even close. I have been praying about this...if you ever want to email me, vent, say things you may not want to put on your blog for the world to see, I am here. It is becky_beaubien@yahoo.com. If you do not want to either, it is fine. I am just here if you need me because I get where you are. The words took awhile to come in, and Kristen's speech is still so far from perfect. But, you get to a spot where it is okay. If it were not for the support of other mothers in my area, I would not be where I am today either. Hang in there, email me if you ever want to...

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  2. I wish I could hug you. My grandson Clifton is a high functioning Autistic. In a social situation he can't read other people and always responds inappropriately. I never know how much to step in for him. He knows that Nana shouldn't fight his battles, and it frustrates him. But if I don't step in for him, he will lose. When he was young like Maddie, he couldn't speak. I don't know if it was worse then or now. I do understand your confusion and frustration. I want to cry with you. But I also know the joy in special children. I stayed alive to see Clifton be born. We have a bond that I never had with anyone else. But it's hard and I understand where you are. I wish there was a guide book for either of us.

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  3. I think I would be feeling the same way. And I guess the only thing I would do if I were you is just keep letting Maddie go at the steady rate she is going at...Don't rush her because others seem impatient. That wouldn't be fair to Maddie. I think you are handling things perfectly.

    Wish I had more advice, but I am behind you in this stage of the game. Hugs Kim, to you and Madds :)

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  4. I can so empathize with you. Big hugs! THere was a time when I felt the same way. Everything was slow for John Michael, I wanted it to go faster. I had to wait a long time for him to say "Mama" and that was in a music therapy session. I cried my eyes out. Maddie is probably developing in other ways right now, like physically, that her speech might have taken a little backseat for a while. One of these days, she'll start communicating more, but like Jenny said, don't rush her. It's ok to help her stay on task, but other people will learn to be more patient as well. The delay in speech is one of the hardest things when you're dying to know what she wants. She will get it... and she will amaze you... just like everything else she has accomplished so far. Hang in there!

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  5. Hey I am still waiting for mumma to ! I get you on other people waiting, it can be like that in our music class, I do my best to be patient waiting for owen to have his turn but occasionally I hurry him up it just depends on the mood of the class in that moment or maybe it's my mood in that moment ! Lol

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  6. Oh, I needed to read this today. I am SO with you. We stopped going to swimming because Kaety is really not yet able to take direction and, but it was so good for her. I hate that I am afraid of what other people are thinking. And I would SO love to hear "Mommy" rather than the constant "dadadadadadadadada". She's starting to make other sounds, but not consistently and when people ask me why she's not talking, I simply say, "She's not ready." But inside, it makes me sad. She does talk...she's just the only one who understands it...Yet. I am so with you on this. Big ole' hugs to you both!

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  7. So right there with ya. All Max says is dadadada. Follow instructions? No. Point to what he wants? No. But they'll get there :)

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  8. I do not have a special needs child, but my son was delayed as a toddler and I worried about the perception of others -almost as much as I worried myself. If your daughter enjoys it, then do it. I know easier said than done, but she is a toddler and many will delay things for various reasons. My other son is 2 and he always delays things; while it seems others just come and go (they don't, but it seems that way). He has to do everything himself- at the expense of time and others (like opening the big heavy door at preschool- dare others try to assist and he yells at them (uggh) and has to wait until he gets the chance again. This is just one small example. Sure, I hurry him when I can, but sometimes he just has needs -and they take longer. Your precious daughter has them too and that is really o.k. I am not minimizing the stress of these situations at times, but don't stress because she takes a bit more time or needs some assistance.

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  9. Ugh! So with you. We've been doing story time at the library. All the kids are 18 months to 3 years, so the perfect age group. But yes, Claire's pace is so much slower than everybody's else's. I try hard to work at her pace, and not just do for her. Today she walked through the whole library with me holding her hand! It was awesome and we had quite a line of people slowly walking behind us too. They'll either adjust too, or find a way to go around!

    And the questions! Claire does great following directions (for the most part), but you can't ask her a question at all. She still doesn't nod, or even questions where she knows the signs (more or all done?), nothing...They'll both get it in time!

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