Friday, June 17, 2011

darn park...

Baby…cute Baby…a little girl pointing at Maddie…I respond to her –her name is Maddie…girl smiles runs away…I watch as she climbs and goes down the slide up the stairs but hesitates at a BIG green slide and whimpers calls for her Dad…she comes over again to Maddie…hi Maddie…Baby…Daddy help slide…scared…she is saying all these words…she is at least a foot taller then Maddie and 5 more pounds…and my heart sunk…and I question myself…do I have these encounters to prepare me for Maddie’s future…when I look back at being pregnant and after the diagnosis…all the doctors appointments and specialists…the medication I was on to stop labor…really prepared me for today…and life with Maddie…at the park I was not sad or mad…I was just numb…trying to find more meaning in this encounter…I asked her Dad her age…he responded 2 years olds June…she is just 2…then he asked how old Maddie was…I responded 2 years old May…and then I said -I guess this puts in perspective how little my little girl is…I see her as so big…I see her as so tall and strong…and when I encounter the same age child…and get the reality of our future…then the questions of will Maddie always be this small comparatively to her peers…will she be this far behind in language….and you all know the rest…but there is always a positive these days…Maddie is just as social as this little girl…she just communicates differently…and she has more personality in her little pinky…but that could be a mama’s bias… and Maddie has no fear of the BIG green slide…she will climb up by herself and slide down head first…independently…no whimper for us…no asking for help…but I sure do look forward to the day she says mom, ma, mama or heck even Kim…

8 comments:

  1. Feel ya on this one. We have a neighbor across the street who is 4 months younger than Max and is soooo far ahead in EVERYTHING. My daughter has started to ask to play with the neighbor all the time because he is so much more responsive than her little brother. Sigh.

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  2. We had a similar encounter at a park except when I said Luc's age the mother gasped out loud and then proceeded to whisper to her friend. I was mad for about 3 days. Oh well, they will get there, it's just going to take more time.

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  3. You are right...those "darn" parks!. I dreaded going to the park when Kristen was Maddie's age, but we did it. I made myself go. We did it over and over again because Kristen loved it, and each time I went it became easier and easier to not compare and accept where Kristen's abilities were in comparison to those other kids her age...and be extremely proud of her for what she could do! People's comments still come even now but the sting is less because they will never know how amazing my little girl really is...just like Maddie. Trust me...Kristen is extremely small and about the size of a 2 year old at 4. The comments come and now I just smile and say "yes, I know she is small." Love to you...

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  4. I was pregnant with 5 pregnant girlfriends and two pregnant sister-in-laws and its hard not to compare or get sad that my daughter isn't developmentally or size wise near them. my nephew is the month younger and is standing and crawling and is twice as big as my daughter, and my niece is 6 months younger and it's still a head of my daughter . but when I stop comparing and just enjoy my daughter I really do like her pace.

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  5. Its hard not to compare with kids the same age. But I like what you said about Maddie having more personality in her little pinky than that other girl...I feel the same way about Russell, he's just a WAY more interesting kid than the other kids I have seen his age. I am hoping as time goes by I stop comparing altogether, but for right now its kind of hard.

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  6. You are not alone with these experiences and thank you for opening up about yours. I am excited to follow your blog!

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  7. While at the local restaurant indoor playground I thought about that today. Two girls were snubbing Emma and my heart sank. If they are unkind to Emma, my overachiever, what will it be like for Eslea.
    Eslea does so much the same as Emma and seems to be only a month or so behind her. Yet she is so tiny. So very tiny.
    We all feel it though few say it.
    You can tell from Maddie's pics she has such personality. I adore her!
    -erin

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  8. The comparisons are hard. There is a calendar at Claire's daycare where they keep track of how old the kids are. One little boy is 4 months older than Claire and I thought he was MUCH older than that...most of the time I'm good, but sometimes it stinks. And Maddie does have personality to spare!

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