Why I worry?? It is actually more complex to answer then one may think...the cliche is that I just love my kiddos so much...because I had something so horrible happen to me...I have to be in control...surprisingly it's not really any of those cliches...of course I love my kids...of course I have had "bad" things happen to me and I am a bit of a control freak...but thats not it...
The simple short version...a moment can change everything...in one moment a life can be forever altered...if I can prevent that moment from happening...I will..would you not?? A couple of years ago we were in Washington D.C. and Max decided to get independent at the food court...horror!! So I let him go in and use a public bathroom alone...reminder we are from Wyoming! it did not go well on my part...I stood with the door open asking if he was ok every 5 seconds...disregarding the privacy of others...all I could think is my kid could be touched, fondled, taken...changed in a moment for life...did I apologize...nope...I probably should have...but I have no trust...but really do you???
I believe in fairy tales, love, mermaids, unicorns, and that world peace is obtainable...I want to trust...but I can't...not when it comes to my children and their lives...the statistic for a person with a disability to be sexually abused is 90% and 80% will be abused again...WTF...I know I cannot live by statistics...but if I can prevent it...why would I not...because I may offend someone...ok...so...
Trust is earned...being a part of my children's lives...is earned...we interview people to get jobs, to be our spouses...hell we even read reviews and research what car to buy, what neighborhood to live in...so why not interview the people spending time with your child...follow up with them...get to know them...reference check...to trust that some one person or a HR guru can do it better is very nice...but the reality is that your child is your business...your responsibility...
I am not sure their is a parent out there that would think...yeah I am glad I took no responsibility in the village that helped raise my child...No mother ever said...I would hate to hurt others feelings in being positively proactive...
At some point we have to let go of the thinking others want the "best" for us and will do anything to provide it...the bottom line is everyone that provides a service is in business to make money...either to pay their employees or to pay themselves...they may really want the "best" for our kids...but business will always be business...and hiring a person is risky no matter who they share DNA with, credentials, experience, if they go to church and believe in the "right" deity...a person has a mind you cannot see..and is subject to change...
I am the annoying parent...I call...I email...I pop in and observe...I ask who the assistants are...who has contact with my kids indirect or direct...am I overreacting...in others eyes including Chads...yes...in my mind...I am just doing what I feel is necessary...I guess only time and future therapy will tell if Me or Chads philosophy was "right"...
The simple short version...a moment can change everything...in one moment a life can be forever altered...if I can prevent that moment from happening...I will..would you not?? A couple of years ago we were in Washington D.C. and Max decided to get independent at the food court...horror!! So I let him go in and use a public bathroom alone...reminder we are from Wyoming! it did not go well on my part...I stood with the door open asking if he was ok every 5 seconds...disregarding the privacy of others...all I could think is my kid could be touched, fondled, taken...changed in a moment for life...did I apologize...nope...I probably should have...but I have no trust...but really do you???
I believe in fairy tales, love, mermaids, unicorns, and that world peace is obtainable...I want to trust...but I can't...not when it comes to my children and their lives...the statistic for a person with a disability to be sexually abused is 90% and 80% will be abused again...WTF...I know I cannot live by statistics...but if I can prevent it...why would I not...because I may offend someone...ok...so...
Trust is earned...being a part of my children's lives...is earned...we interview people to get jobs, to be our spouses...hell we even read reviews and research what car to buy, what neighborhood to live in...so why not interview the people spending time with your child...follow up with them...get to know them...reference check...to trust that some one person or a HR guru can do it better is very nice...but the reality is that your child is your business...your responsibility...
I am not sure their is a parent out there that would think...yeah I am glad I took no responsibility in the village that helped raise my child...No mother ever said...I would hate to hurt others feelings in being positively proactive...
At some point we have to let go of the thinking others want the "best" for us and will do anything to provide it...the bottom line is everyone that provides a service is in business to make money...either to pay their employees or to pay themselves...they may really want the "best" for our kids...but business will always be business...and hiring a person is risky no matter who they share DNA with, credentials, experience, if they go to church and believe in the "right" deity...a person has a mind you cannot see..and is subject to change...
I am the annoying parent...I call...I email...I pop in and observe...I ask who the assistants are...who has contact with my kids indirect or direct...am I overreacting...in others eyes including Chads...yes...in my mind...I am just doing what I feel is necessary...I guess only time and future therapy will tell if Me or Chads philosophy was "right"...
I love you ! Everything you say resonates with my thinking :)
ReplyDeleteLaura