Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Terminology, Labels and Phrases

Terms used to describe my kid...and my other kid...

Ordinary - no special quality or interest; common

Normal - usual, common type, natural, regular, typical, conforming to the standard

Different - not alike in character or quality; unusual,  not ordinary

Special - a distinct or particular kind or character

There are words that drive me crazy! The above mentioned are some...they all have negative undertones regardless of how the person is meaning them to be...how about just describe Maddie or Max as....

Maddox -sister, daughter
Maximus -brother, son
better yet for both of them -HUMAN...

Max is often described as smart or interesting...negative perhaps...
Maddie is described as special or different...negative perhaps...

in the hospital this past week Maddie and I were watching Frozen for the 134th time and I picked up on when Ana told the short bald dude asked if she was just "ordinary" and then her guy friend said she was "ordinary" and then apologized that he did not mean it as an insult...and that got me thinking about how we use words and how we receive labels...for example I do not see Max as "normal" I see him as "special"...I do not see Maddie as "special" but as "normal with extra zing"...when someone comments that Max is like any other 8 year old I am offended...if someone comments Maddie is like any other 5 year I ask what they have been smoking...my point is that labels and descriptions can be offensive to any parent...we have an idea of what we want or wanted in our child...that we created...we want to think our children are an extension of us...with that when that extension comes out different, special, unique, or ordinary we can get a little confused...my emotions and frustration truly are all over the place with labels...when someone comments on my child...very rarely do I want to hear it or know the label assigned to my child...whether it is white, male, female, nice, happy, smart, or slow...none of them sound good enough...

I am not saying I do not use Maddie's label to our advantage...I do...when going through a National Park we have pass that lets us in for free...all because of an Extra Chromosome...a label...its funny they ask who the person the pass belongs to?? we all point to Maddie...and they say oh ok! Thanks!...am I offended...nope...thankful I get in for free...

I guess it is a decision whether to be offended or not...personal choice...so from now on I am going to refer to myself and Maddie as a 'Basic Bitch' the urban dictionary says its just a extra regular female...I think that is classic! I am still working on what Chad and Max are best described as...

then there are the clumps of words that drive me crazy...the phrase that kills me is....and are continually said to me or about friends...

"you are doing it right"

WHAT does that mean????

I have not in my 40 years of life done anything "right"...just saying...I am the stumble in and hope for the best...Chad and I have done everything backwards...the next phrase..."they are good people" HUH! what is that..."good people"...do you live with them?? do you really know them?? because I am thinking you do not...people are HUMAN!! sometimes they cannot do it "right" because your "right" and their "right" do not line up...it is simple...really...stop labeling everything...remember that HUMANS are all "different and special" as well as "normal and ordinary"

soap box...perhaps!!



1 comment:

  1. I understand that you see your children as an extension of who you are. That is very normal. I did, and it is what caused the most problems in my parenting. Being on the other side of parenting now I realize that my children are not and never have been an extension of me. They are who they are and no label is going to change that. It really is a good thing considering all my flaws. Like you said, they are just humans. Enjoy them for who they are.

    ReplyDelete