Still!

Your just not enjoying her infancy…my brother thinks he knows so much!! He is right…I think that pisses me off more then him saying it…reflecting back on those words… I am getting that I am not just enjoying Maddox…I am so into pushing her and making sure that she is getting everything that will make her great…that I forget just to enjoy her smile…her whole body smiles and her laugh…it echoes in my ears…she is getting so aggressive…she took a strawberry out of my hand and started sucking it…I just want to forget…I want to forget her diagnosis…at times I wish I did not know…I wish I could forget that yes she can be great with rolling over and sitting up…that she can be so strong…but that does not mean she will go to college…that she will live on her own…that she will get married…that it is what I am hung up on...I cannot get it out of my head…I just want to know…I want to know if she will stricture…I want to know if she will be healthy…I want to know if she will be happy…I just want to know…Max asked if he is still four…I said yes…and thought Maddox still has her enhancement…