Just be...

Sometimes I wonder what I thought about before I had Maddox…Down’s Syndrome has consumed me…it is what I talk about….think about…read about…when I was pregnant with her and we got the diagnosis I remember hoping that…she was just “slightly Downs”…or that she was Mosaic, Translocation, or only partial Trisomy 21…I asked the doctor if we could test….so we would know what we were dealing with…today I still do not know what we are dealing with…Maddox is doing amazing…she is rolling and reaching up high for things she wants…last night she was chasing a ball with her hands and scooting on her belly…she is so happy, content, funny….and she LOVES to laugh…I have never met a person that loves kisses as much as her…(do not tell me this is typical of Ds)...so this is where I get selfish…I start thinking what if she did not have Down’s Syndrome…I wonder does any of this great progress at 6 months old… really mean anything…is she still going to be teased and judged….is society going to see the Down’s Syndrome first and her second…or never get to know her…is she still not going to be able to drive…when does me being content happen…