Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Grandma...
Today a little girl said “someday you will be a Grandma”…I responded “maybe”…”if Maximus decides to have kiddos”… she said “no when Maddie has kids”…I responded “Maddox will not have children”…she of course asked “why” and I responded so sure of myself…”because she has Down’s Syndrome”…the little girl looked at me cross and just said “huh”…then I thought WOW that sounds like I have taken a choice away from Maddie… that I have no right to do! And 4 year old new it! I am troubled by this…I am not sure how I feel about Maddie having children…and will I be equally unsure if she cannot have children and she wants them…I understand she is 6 months old...but I am always planning for the future and “what ifs”…and this is another issue I have no control over...I remember when I was pregnant with her I told my husband we would have her “fixed”…that is so ugly…I am mad at myself for thinking it…so many things change when you have your little girl staring you in the eye…she is a human first with rights, wants and desires…and I need to just let it play out… and maybe relax!
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My heart goes out to you. It's different having a boy with Down syndrome, I think, when it comes to this subject. I hope for Gabriel to have a fulfilling physical love in his adult life, but I do not wish for him to be a father. I just can't see it.
ReplyDeleteI think it was Carrie and Sujeet (a married couple with Ds) that said it best when it came to wanting children: they had to take care of themselves first and only. And it is true, IMO.
I understand you completely. You're right - she's human first and the best thing we can do is sit back and relax.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your heart with us.
xox
Windmills and Tulips