Day 2 of preschool for Maddie...I knew she was ready...and I knew I was ready...I tried to talk myself in to that I was sad and I would miss her..but it is for 3 hrs a day...not a big deal...what I had a problem with is letting her go outside into the world with no control of her interactions...today I wondered if people refer to Maddie as "high functioning" I often hear people describe a person with Down syndrome in this way...I am not a fan of it...but I get it...but that was my trepidation with letting Maddie go...was other people and there assumptions of Maddie...I wish I did not care what people thought about Maddie...but I do...I wonder if they think I am lazy because she cannot communicate or not potty trained...I wonder if they think I do not care because I work and put her on a bus to go to school...Chad would say screw them and don't care...but i have always cared what others think...I have always been that person people watching and wondering what that persons story is...are they happy, sad, lonely...do they have kids are they pregnant...I always wonder...and as I let go of my kiddos little by little...giving trust where it is deserved...I wonder what people think of the family with 2 kids...that let's there son grown his hair long and have a very honest opinion about all things and is 6... the other child that babbles very loud and also has opinion on everything...and me acting like I understand every word that is being said...we are dysfunctional at best...but it is our "normal"...as Maddie stepped off the bus today grinning ear to ear...telling me all about her day...I was relieved that she was safe back in my watchful eye...can I already say I see the benefits of preschool on day 2...yesterday when she got on the bus she cried...but she was ok within a couple minutes...I did not baby her...I said have a good day and gave her a kiss...when she came home yesterday she cried when she saw me...but it was short lived and more a release of emotion on her part...today she got on the bus no tears...kissed me and waived bye...when she came home she was squealing with delight...and very happy...she was ready for me to let her go...I know Maddie likes to be a big girl...but I am the one that wants to keep her small...until it inconveniences me...then I complain she is not doing something...I think the next time I meet a person without designer jeans...I will describe them as either high or low functioning...do you think they will notice...
Potty training...I am not sure Maddie is interested or even feels the sensation yet to go to the potty...she has peed in the potty one time...
the dreaded r-word...as a parent of a child born with Down syndrome I have moments when the r-word brings on a panic attack...I become ang...
I would think that people would applaud you for being such a strong mommy, for being able to let go in the interest of Maddie's growth and development and independence. Getting on the bus is a HUGE thing! Not a failing on the parent at all. Who cares what others *might* think (although I don't think they're thinking anything bad!!)? Maddie is thriving. I'm so happy she's loving school!! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love that you are going to describe a person without designer jeans as low or high functioning! That is awesome. I think you are a good momma for whatever npmy opinion is worth. We are all dysfunctional, if that is what you want to label it as, in our own way. If someone calls their life perfect...I am just not buying it. Yes, letting go is so hard and something I have issues with. But, it appears as if Maddie is loving this on day 2 and is ready for it. Sometimes the hardest part of a momma's job is letting them get their wings and fly! :)
ReplyDeleteArina will start preschool in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to see what she learns while there! I'm hoping they will tame her a little though, because that girl is a maniac!!
ReplyDeleteAfter cancer treatments we are encouraged to embrace the new normal. And we all cringe because the new normal isn't what is normal for everyone else. We have to accept that normal is what is normal for us. I think the best attitude I've heard on it was the opening line on the television show "Little People". The oldest son said "people need to get over it because she isn't going to grow." I think that is what Saint Francis meant by "accepting the things we cannot change'. When I feel like someone is judging me, I think "accept it, because I can't change it."
ReplyDeleteI never care what people think, except for when it comes to Russell...That's weird right? I just feel everything he does, or does not do, falls on me...I feel how he behaves reflects on my parenting, more so than with the other kids. I wish I didn't feel that way...So I get what you're saying here.
ReplyDeleteBeing able to let go of Madds and put her on the bus is huge! Good for you! I'm glad her second day was better and the tears were brief.
I always care what other people think too...I can't help but wonder as we walk through the stores or Landon's school what all of the people who see us think of us. I've always cared about what other people think about me, I've tried to care less but it's just who I am I guess.
ReplyDeleteI'm SO glad that Maddie is loving school and I think it's great she rides the bus...so much independence! Can't wait to hear how she blossoms over the next year...oh and all the friends she's going to make!!! I can't wait for Sutter to start in Jan!
Maddie is going to do so well at preschool! I can't wait to see how she grows as she gets used to her new routine. I'm glad she does so well riding the bus. I think that would totally freak Claire out!
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