Wednesday, February 8, 2012
TO MUCH TALK
I cannot stand when someone says to me..."maybe you should talk with someone, like a counselor"...REALLY! picture it I am at the doctors office and there is an intern with my doctor...we are discussing ways to lower my blood pressure...choices medication, antianxeity medication, and life changes example; diet, exercise, red wine, stress level...so this is something I have been battling since Maddie was born...so 2 almost 3 years later I know I have to start taking a more proactive approach to my health...I changed my diet to the Meterarian Diet, a glass of red wine 3 times or so a week...I exercise daily...and then there is my stress level...his thought was breathing techniques...ok I can handle that I do need to work on it...but the interns comment talk with someone! I simply replied "why would I talk with someone who has no idea what I am going through...has never had a child with Ds, TEF, and societies ignorance" WHY! if I can find someone that has lived in my shoes in relation to a child with needs...then I would go...but if you got answers from a book and you hear it went well...no thanks! I get that I am a bit abrasive but I do not think doctors know much about everything...unless it is there area of concentration...it was clear she knew what she knew from a book...so nothing she says is worth my time...I know very "Kim" of me...but recommending me for counseling is just a phrase that makes me red...she then proceeded to say that "maybe things will get better...that maybe my stress level with my child may decrease"...I said that "her esophogas closes every couple of months and that is not going away....miracles are not happening here...and then I explained that Down syndrome is not going away it is something we will live with forever..and with that comes stress that I am not accustom to"...read my file or ask a question before you sound lazy for not reading up about me....its all there! and yes I am at peace with Down syndrome...but as Maddie changes so do my stressors...it is what it is...so I decided to take blood pressure medication, continue my healthy lifestyle change...and breath deep!
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I would suggest a few more glasses of red wine! :) I hate the "talk to someone" approach was offered or suggested a few times by friends of mine as well as the nurses in the hospital and the social workers who called my house weekly after Sutter was home! Considering none of them could give me any information on Ds or what to expect I did not take their advice! Good luck with the BP meds and breathing!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was going through breast cancer, I got more help chatting with other survivors than I did from the counseling that was offered. Even though it was offered from a counselor in my oncology office, the person just didn't get what it was like to go through cancer. I'd say by looking at your favorite bloggers list you've got a decent support group going on as it is. And I agree with Wren, add more red wine.
ReplyDeleteI think my stress levels could match yours from the sounds of it. Yes, I would be red hot from being told to go talk to someone. Hang in there...we are all here for you and understand how the stressors change...and how only someone who has walked this path truly can understand. I agree with everyone above too...more red wine :).
ReplyDeleteI have a great counsellor, a great counsellor doesn't have to have a shared experience, But they do have great empathy and stratagies for coping not just survivingt. In hospital the nurses sent in a social worker to see me - she had absolutely no street cred what so ever - about 22 years old just out of uni and her first question straight out a text book "so how do you feel about this" blaahhhhhh I hit the eject button very quick actually i was quite savage about telling her I didn't think she could help me. I found my great counsellor through asking what relaxation techniques they use, mine does a /deep meditation Excersise with me, it is so good better than a glass of red !
ReplyDeleteTake care Kim thinking of you hugs.
I was going to suggest exactly what Wren did...More red wine :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, I would feel the same way you do, I would be pissed about being told to "talk" with someone! The Social Worker they sent to my room after Russell was born was lucky she didn't get punched in the face! And then when I wouldn't talk to her about "what I was feeling" They sent Mental Health to my room!!!! That's when I completely shut down. Argh...To this day I get really angry thinking about it!!!
Anyway Kim, that sucks you have to take blood pressure medication but you have to do what you have to do, so good for you for making the choice. Hope things get better for ya.
Less talk, more reading ;-) This book has altered everything for me. I am so glad I found it and read it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/Chronic-Sorrow-Living-Death-Bereavement/dp/1583913211/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328908614&sr=1-1