the wonderful wizard of Dr Oz was -unfortunate...why oh why did I have to record Dr Oz...because it said it was about having babies at an older maternal age...so I knew Down syndrome would be mentioned...and it was...it was like I was setting myself for this...but I just wanted to understand what all the fuss is about...I want to understand why Maddie has the stigma of being unfortunate and a burden to society...no other risk factor was talked about just Down syndrome...there was a women who said she wanted to have her biological child with all her features and the sound of her laugh...Maddie has my laugh...she has my naughtiness...Maddie has my face and body type...I got the clone I was looking and yearning for...so why is Maddie considered unfortunate...why is it that when I was pregnant with Maddie and told someone she was going to be born with Down syndrome it was considered sad and that person wanted to give me sympathy...and then when Maddie entered this world breathing on her own...she became a blessing...a miracle...a person I should be thankful for...special...someone who would change my life forever...and give me more then I could have imagined...Dr Oz and his guests said unfortunate...the other "specialist" said that there are early tests to help eliminate the risks of babies being born with health issues and abnormalities...and if you are rich you can design the perfect human...I hate to crush there fairytale baby making...but the doctors and experts give Down syndrome a bad name...they are the ones that put Down syndrome in the "unfortunate" category...Maddie is not suffering -she is not unfortunate and she is not a burden...Maddie breathes in and out...she talks -she dances -she is alive...and yet no one wants her...silly really...instead of ridding ourselves of Down syndrome why not cure cancer...why not cure hunger and neglect...how about learning to love ourselves enough to be ok with having a baby one did not think they could raise and love...many times I am told that they could never do "it"...I always think what is "it" and "it" is Down syndrome...I went to my home town today...and I have not been there a lot lately...I have not been there I realized because I have been embarrassed of Maddie...I have been scared to acknowledge that I could not make a human that everyone would love...sure they love her now...because it is nice to say...and I am expected to be positive and thankful for every moment with Maddie...but society tells me they would not want to be burdened with my child...I am told this on TV shows through early testing for Down syndrome....I am told by anonymous commenters that think my child should not be born because she has an extra chromosome...because the doctors and medical community have said that I should have terminate her...that rich people design there babies not to be like my baby...look at my header...is Maddie hideous...is she not someone you would want to be around...I think the answer would be no...and a BIG NO...she is the coolest person I have ever met...she is the most interesting person I have ever met...and to think she/we are unfortunate...to think if I would have taken the advice of the professionals...we would be a statistic...and the world would be unfortunate...
and this is where in the post I say...I love my Maddie and could not imagine life with out her...and that is true...very true...but I should not have to declare my love for my child in a hard truthful look at life with a child that no one but a Down syndrome mother could want...
Saturday, January 28, 2012
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Oh Kim you leave me speechless. I have come to a place where those pity looks just do not mean anything to me, and I actually pity them. I am glad I did not see this. No life created is unfortunate...and when people start playing God and attempt to only allow perfection to be born scares me because nothing is really perfect in life. Then maybe my life itself is unfortunate because I am so far from perfect. A world without my Kristen or your Maddie would be so sad. I love my daughter just as much as you live Maddie and I cannot stand how people can talk like this about Down syndrome.
ReplyDeleteAh, yeah, that's why I don't watch that stuff, don't read the articles, etc., etc. I figure ignorance is bliss sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI think the majority of medical professionals give Ds a bad name too. They are the ones who are the first to pity you when you hear the news...They are the first to say "I'm sorry"...They are the first to tell you your "options" before telling you a single good thing that your child may become. It's sad. And to be honest most of the misinformation on Ds I have ever received has been from Doctors, and that's the truth!
ReplyDeleteAnd I think people who pay to create the perfect baby, do not even have a clue what being a parents truly means.
Loved that last paragraph Kim...Only a Mother of a child with Down syndrome could ever fully get it.
You are so right and you write it so well! I wish you would forward your post to DR OZ!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't have a child with downs syndrome, but I do have a grandchild with severe type A hemophilia. You can't look at him and tell that he has abnormal chromosomes, but when we take him into the emergency room to get clotting factor we are told over and over how sad it is that he has this. Seriously though, I'd be furious if someone told me that it was unfortunate that he was born. I'm sorry that the medical profession can be so unfortunately blind.
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