Decisions decisions...

I have been a little stumped lately...you would think I could put it out here on the blogosphere and let go..I usually can...that's why I blog to release myself...I am not one for disclaimers as in your going to be offended and I really do love my daughter...but I have taken a self pledge to not apologize...I think as women that's what we do...we say sorry for everything...not looking perfect all the time...not having the best behaved children...having a well lived in house...or even having a opinion...a couple months ago I commented on a blog and it went viral because a women didn't like my opinion...that is just not how I role..I like debate ... I also like teaching my kid to think for themselves in all aspects of life...I do not tell them to believe in anything or everything...they get to decide for themselves...and that includes Maddie...so with all that; here is why I have not blogged in ages...because I am going against the modern Down syndrome parent advocate push...we are putting Maddie into a FLS room for her elementary career...I know I can hear the "say what's", why??  FLS means functional life skills...I think that is self explanatory...I know many out there want their children to be in full inclusion...but I have a expert in my back pocket...and we defer to him on all things with Maddie...why? Because he has worked with many people with Down syndrome for many years and he has also raised a child born with Down syndrome...and this is what he suggests...why? Because it's not a race to get Maddie to learn her abc's or 123's teaching Maddie is a marathon...and it takes more people then one classroom teacher...with the FLS room Maddie has a low child to adult ratio...why not a aide? One word -dependence...I do not want Maddie dependent on one person for anything...I want her to think for herself...I want her to learn like she needs to...not how 18 other kiddos do...also the one on one aide here in Wyoming does not have any real training...not specifically teaching children with Down syndrome...but her FLS teacher does...so the fit for Maddie works...do we still have to fight...of course they just don't give out speech, OT, PT etc...most important the school and classroom want her...and that is important...Maddie is verbal but not to the extent that she can tell me if she is being hurt and who....so I rely on people to tell me about her day...I need to trust these people completely...and I cannot expect them to watch my child plus 18 other children and expect to get a good report...is Maddie ready for kindergarden...nope...she is not...not even close...but we have over stayed our welcome at her preschool...why? Because they do not know how to teach Maddie...they try...but really Maddie needs more and different instruction, cues, environment...is Maddie more alike...in some things yes...but not in her learning style -she is different...and that is ok...Maddie thinks for herself and has to be redirected  and reminded...Maddie is Maddie...she is loud, sassy, and thinks she already knows everything...and it's ok for her not to become the cookie cutter learner or student...Max is not...he is his own person and I love that about both my kiddos...it will serve them both equally well...Maddie has a bright future ahead of her and I accept that she is different then the typical anyone...I am not going to sit back and pretend that life with Maddie is amazing all the time...I am not going to pretend that her being the smallest and the cutest doesn't get to me still...because it does...Maddie is just a kid that needs more...and the best...so guess what I found the best in our town and I am fighting tooth and nail to get her in...it is not a sure bet that she will be accepted...they do a lottery draw to determine the school your child attends..but I have name dropped, called, emailed, introduced, and reminded that I want Maddie to have the best...so cross our fingers she gets in...or I am not sure what we will do...